REBBITZIN RICKY FENSTER z”l
December 11, 1927 - December 14, 2021
To add your memories, please contact Linda Moss at linda@sportdesigninc.com
From Lois Trager Michaud
My name is Lois Trager Michaud. My late father Max Trager was the financial secretary for years. My late mother Bea Trager sang in the choir worked on the early rummage sales and my brother and I grew up on Reed Drive with the Reed Drive gang. Several members have also passed on but their memories are still with me. I wrote the letter that was read to the congregation when Rabbi Fenster retired. As a young girl, I lovingly began to call the Rebbetzin Mrs Rabbi. She was a close friend to my mother and a warm loving caring friend to me who enjoyed my nickname. Those years are long gone but the memories and many words by Rabbi Fenster have remained with me throughout my life. Mrs Rabbi survived the loss of their beloved Jonathan with grace and faith. I use to ask her how they can go to a funeral then a wedding of congregants in the same week. She replied faith. May she forever rest in peace and her memory be a blessing to the Rabbi their family and to all of us who were blessed to know her... submitted with respect and love for the Shelter Rock family.
From Vicki Cohen
Over the years, at holiday time, I would run into Ricky at the Kosher butcher shop. These visits were not planned but they seemed to happen almost yearly. It was usually early in the morning and we had time to talk while we shopped. She always asked me if I had any special recipes to share. She was a wonderful cook but always wanted to learn something new. These one on one times with Ricky were very special. I shall miss these impromptu visits but the memory of her smile, her vibrancy, her goodness will live on.
From Marty Levine
“Rebbetzin”
It’s hard to put into words the Rebbetzin. She was so warm. She was so caring. And most of all she was loving. She exuded love. This loving quality of Ricki was engaging.
On a typical Shabbat morning, I would find the front door at Two Reed closed, but slightly opened. (Ricky had always left the door slightly ajar for me). I would knock, say Shabbat shalom and walk in. The first st thing Ricky would ask me was how are the children?
That was it. Just like my Mom would ask.
Next she would ask if she could get me something to eat or drink.
This went on and on for years. So loving, right up to the Shabbat before she passed.
I will miss that warmth and always cherish these memories.
From Allison Levine
Ricky Fenster was my first Rebbetzin since I was a child, and then as an adult after returning to the community. She defined that terminology for me. A welcoming, warm, inviting, personality. The woman who led the community with softness but with direction. Over the years, Ricky became my friend, A very special type of friend, certainly like an extended part of my family. Someone I could respect and take advice from. A woman who carried so much knowledge about family, marriage, children, life. She was an incredibly valuable source of positive, caring words , compassion and energy. I will always cherish the time we spent together. Ricky had an elegance, beauty, exuberant lust for life. It was subtle and contagious.
I will miss her dearly. May she rest in peace.
From Debra Hoffman
Even as I add זיכרונה לברכה to Ricky’s name, I think of the words from Eishet Chayil: Her quiet wisdom and modesty were an example to live by for all of us.
Ricky’s vibrant presence at Shelter Rock and in the community was unique in that her role in the shul/community and character meshed in a way that few accomplish in their lifetime. When I think of her, she feels ageless, possibly because her neshama and presence never seemed to dim as she was so real, honest and available and therefore so uplifting to be with.
Her lack of judgment of others along with deep sincerity and positive energy made us all feel welcomed and comfortable with her. I tuly appreciate the discussions and interactions I had with her. Her faith and devotion inspired me and her memory will always be a blessing. I wish comfort to her family and to all those blessed to have known and been close to Ricky. She will be missed!
From Manda & Lenny Kristal
Ricky Fenster was a one of a kind woman. It is hard to put in words all the adjectives that run through my head when I picture her in my mind. A smile always forms on my face and words like kind, compassionate, sensitive and striking all flood my senses.
We will miss hearing her beautiful voice on Shabbat mornings and seeing her sit lovingly alongside the Rabbi. Ricky was a very special person and she will be missed very much by everyone who knew her.
We hope wonderful memories that the family has of all the wonderful things she was and did will keep her memories alive
L'Dor VaDor.
From Francine Wilbur
Ricky had a devotion to the charity Yad LaKashish. She shared that devotion with many people, including myself and my family so that we also became volunteers.
From Eileen & Neil Tannor
RICKY FENSTER - A TRIBUTE
The definition of Rebbetzin - one word - Ricky
OK two words - Ricky Fenster
Ricky enveloped the community with poise and style always taking an interest in family and friends along with her love and devotion to her Rabbi Myron, her family and Judaism.
We cherish the time spent together both in New York and Florida. There was fun and laughter and serious discussions.
Ricky - a remarkable woman. We love her!!!
When we think about Ricky we miss her. We also smile and feel a warmth in our hearts.
From Harriet Piltz
Ricky Fenster holds a special place in my heart and thoughts. I send my condolences to RabbI Fenster and their family. Ricky always had a lovely smile and a kind word for eveyone.
She will be dearly missed.
From Nancy & Steven Goldstein
When we contemplated moving to Searingtown in 1983, an important part of the equation was the synagogue and its clergy. We had heard wonderful things not only about Rabbi Fenster but also about the Rebbetzin. All of these things were true.
For us, Ricky was a role model not only as a Rebbetzin, but also as a person. She set and exemplified a high standard for us all, with her acceptance, quick wit, knowledge of Judaism and its household intricacies, and her interactions with the community and family. Ricky’s warmth and kind words defined her for us and she made a lasting impact on our lives.
We extend our condolences to Rabbi Fenster, family, friends, and to the greater community that has lost a vital, beautiful and very important member.
We have many fond memories of Ricky and hope that the memories of all who knew her will sustain them and be a blessing for her family, the community and us all.
Ricky, we loved you and will miss you.
From Marilyn Blume
My first memory of Mrs. Fenster is from Beth Sholom nursery school when I was lucky enough to be in her class. Even though it was almost 50 years ago, I vividly remember being greeted each morning by her warm smile and upbeat personality. Talking with Ricky felt like a privilege as she made me feel heard and special; always listening attentively and offering words of wisdom. Then I was fortunate enough to see Ricky throughout my years at the Hebrew school and holidays. She was a wonderful constant in my life who made the world a brighter/kinder place.
From Judith and Bob Turkewitz
It's difficult to write about Ricky a"l without writing about Rabbi Fenster, her most ardent admirer. What a fabulous couple. Ricky was the epitome of a Rebbetzin. She was charming and regal in all respects. Always careful to greet her fellow congregants at Shelter Rock. Ricky symbolized what the shul stood for. She will be sadly missed.
Dear Ricky a"l
I was twelve when first we met
At Jackson Heights Jewish Center
Where USY was the set
And, the name was Fenster
As I grew up
And you grew older
Our friendship did not end
For you were so special
’Cause Ricky a"l was "my friend"
When we would sit and talk
As sometime we would do
It always meant so much to me
And always will...too.
At some time in my life
You helped me get through
I'm forever grateful
To have known
An Aishes Chayil like you
Judith Fleischer Turkewitz
From Judi Schmertz
My Rebbetzin
My Neighbor
My Friend
We will miss you forever
From Rochelle and Izzy Epstein
Memories, do we have wonderful memories about this wonderful lady. We have belonged to Shelter Rock Jewish Center for 50 years. The dancing on the Bima and all around the synagogue on Simchah Torah holiday, and all other occasions. We were in Israel to celebrate our daughter’s wedding on a kibbutz where our daughter had immigrated, Rabbi Fenster and Ricky were also in Israel at that time, so of course they came to the wedding that was held on Kibbutz Sde Nahum about one hour away from Jerusalem. The groom was a kibbutsnick. A wonderful young man. What a memorable wedding it was, in Israel on a kibbutz, with our Rabbi and Rebbetzen. You could not ask for more.
Ricky, thank you for the pleasure we had to have met you. You are missed.
NY Times obituary
December 17, 2021
FENSTER--Renee Corrine Walfish. In the Book of Proverbs, we read "a woman for the ages, who can find?" We found her. A woman of strength, joy, and grace. Her name was Renee Corrine Walfish Fenster. A beloved wife, mother, aunt, sister, sister-in-law, cousin, grandmother, and great-grandmother to more than 50. She was the leader, together with her husband Rabbi Myron Fenster (now Emeritus), of the Shelter Rock Jewish Center in Roslyn, NY, since 1966, and was a teacher in the neighboring synagogue kindergarten. Her quiet wisdom and modesty were an exemplar to live by for all of us. We pray that her legacy of love will continue for the "Dor Hemshech" - future generations of her family friends, and congregation.
From Lenora Weiss
The world has lost a gem. Ricky was very special. I will miss her so much.
From Donna & David Katzman
Ricky Fenster was so much more than our Rebbetzin. Ricky always made us feel like part of her extended family. Warm, kind, and genuine, we were always greeted by our first names, and that incredible smile and a hug. She made us feel part of the Shelter Rock family.
From Roberta & Norman Lev
We have been members of the Shelter Rock Jewish Center for 48 years and have known Ricky for all those years. It was a special treat for us to see her wonderful smile and also to engage in friendly chatter with her. She was very special, and we will miss her very much.
From Vivian Leber
I first met Rebbetzin Ricky Fenster when we joined Shelter Rock in 1988, but it wasn’t until Mark and I began to attend the famous Gold Plate Dinner that I saw her on the dancefloor. She grabbed my hand and pulled me into the circle which she was leading. Ricky was always so graceful and striking, self-assured and warmly engaging. The most remarkable memory I have of Ricky is being witness to her intense gaze of admiration and love whenever she sat in the sanctuary listening to her Rabbi, her bashert, deliver a sermon--no matter that she must have heard 1,000 of them over the course of a beautiful marriage and a richly purposeful life.
From Rabbi Martin S. Cohen
Even though I grew up in Queens, Joan and I didn’t know a soul on Long Island when we moved here in 2002 and tried to find our way forward in a new place. Rabbi and Ricky (as we soon learned to call them) were beyond welcoming, making themselves available to us and helping us in a dozen different ways to settle in. Ricky was particularly warm and welcoming to Joan, I have to add—with simple things (like where she got her hair cut) and more complicated ones too. All these years later, we still remember her warmth and graciousness. May she rest in peace and may her memory be a blessing for us all.
From Marsha & Jeff Samberg
Dear Rabbi Fenster,
Jeff and I were deeply saddened to learn of Ricky’s death. We zoomed the funeral and we were moved to hear your children and you speaking so beautifully about Ricky. Ricky and you were such vital influences to our family.
When Ricky and you were present for our family’s happy and sad occasions we felt so comfortable. Ricky’s warmth, spirit, smile, and personality filled the room with joy. Although we are in Florida, Ricky and you have always been close to our hearts.
Jeff and I have been blessed knowing Ricky and you all these years. Sean and Allison share with Jeff and me the love we have for you and Ricky.
May all your beautiful memories of Ricky bring you comfort at this time.
From Arlene & Bob Kagan
Ricky Fenster was a great woman who taught us so many life-long lessons……mainly genuine KINDNESS.
Our family was introduced to SRJC in 1972 and given complimentary High Holiday tickets and we were asked to join when we were ready for our next level of poverty.
We quickly met the Fensters…..At Friday night Shabbat dinners, Rabbi would start us off with a game to introduce ourselves….he started off with Ricky, Ravishing Rebbetzin, who gave a slightly embarrassed smile and it went on from there. Ricky was always our Ravishing Rebbetzin.
Our daughters, Cherie & Danielle, went to nursery school and Ricky was their teacher. Danielle came home one day and announced that Mrs. Fenster was so lucky, “she has her own Rabbi.”
Throughout our years of celebrating family life cycle events, great SRJC successes and two presidencies, Ricky was always a fabulous mentor & supporter. She especially encouraged women to sit on the Bimah and be equally respected.
Singing in the choir with Ricky & Billy, her sister, was a treat. On Friday nights, when the choir would come off the Bimah and be seated before the Rabbi’s Divrei Torah, Ricky would look up at him with the most beautiful smile, while quietly giving her critique to the people next to her. What fun that was!!
And I will always remember a very recent visit, prior to a Shabbat, when I brought over challah. Ricky greeted me wearing a raspberry-colored sweater like one of the shades in our sanctuary parochet which Ricky helped design with the decorating committee so many years ago. She gave me a beautiful smile and big hug. She just wanted to know that Bob & I were doing alright.
Ricky’s kindness, love, support and caring has always been there for all of Shelter Rock and these memories will always be with us.
From Marcia & Glenn Pollack
It is very rare that you meet someone to whom you instantly feel an affection yet Rebbetzen Ricky was one of those rare exceptions. She went out of her way to learn about you and your entire family and she would remembered the details, a trait that only a true Rebbetzin would have. Although we were not part of the congregation as it was growing and flourishing, we could see why it would have flourished with the backbone of Ricky behind Rabbi Femster. Ricky will be missed and she was a blessing to the SRJC family. Marcia and I were honored to have known her.
From Rabbi Elliot Pachter
We treasure our two years in the Shelter Rock community, which were enhanced by the love and support provided by Ricky. Ricky was always warm and welcoming to us. Her guidance was so helpful as we set out on our path to serve our own congregation in Michigan.
From Joel, Irene, Jonathan, and David Fisher
We remember our special Rebbetzin Ricky who will remain in all of our hearts for the very wonderful person that she personified. Ricky was an integral part of our Shelter Rock family who added warmth and wisdom to our entire congregation. Her memory will remain in all our hearts for being the gracious and unique person that she was.
From Livia Beck & Isaac Axel
I would like to express our sincere condolences to Rabbi Fenster and the entire family.
Rabbi Fenster and Rebbetzin Ricky have been an integral part of my family since 1978. They have supported us through our numerous trials and tribulations over the years. Ricky's warmth, kindness and genuine concern will always be cherished and missed. Her vital influence in our lives can't be emphasized enough..
Although we are still groping with the fact that Ricky is no longer physically with us, she will remain in our hearts forever. May Ricky's memory will be a blessing for all of us.
From Judy & Rob Hirsch
When we think of Ricky, the word Rebbetzin is so clear. But Ricky wasn’t just a traditional Rebbetzin. She stood tall, graceful, beautiful, and always at the Rabbi’s side, supporting him, guiding him and being The Rebbetzin for all at Shelter Rock.
Soon after we moved to the Shelter Rock Community we attended a Pesach Prep class taught by Rabbi Fenster and Ricky. We had recently unpacked a full set of crystal glassware that had come from Judy’s grandparents and was still wrapped in newspaper from 1964. The question Judy asked: Could I use them for Pesach? The yes came from Rabbi but the how came from Ricky. They needed to be kashered in the bathtub. She said they had to soak for three days, changing the water each day. So for 3 days our children could not take a bath while the crystal had a good soak. Somehow this was all done without breaking a single glass. Ricky did not hesitate to tell us what was actually required to do in order to have a kosher home. By doing so she also gave Judy a gift because as we soaked the glasses she was transported to having done this same ritual with her mother when she was a little girl.
Ricky had that special ability to be firm but in a gentle way that made a young mother willing to dunk her grandmother’s crystal in the bathtub, not only because it was the right thing to do halachically, but because by doing so would strengthen a family’s connection to those who came before.
From Barbara Liss
Ricky Fenster was a very special person. One of Ricky’s great traits was always making you feel welcome and not to feel that you were alone.
I was fairly new to the Shelter Rock Office staff and was invited to a Sisterhood Women’s League event. I was wondering around not really knowing anyone. Suddenly, I felt a tap on my shoulder. It was Ricky and she said, please join our table.
Another thing I must relay is how great a cook Ricky was. Rabbi Fenster and Ricky invited the office staff to their home several times. Everything was always delicious. And one thing I still make today is Ricky’s recipe for Apple Squares. Right before every Rosh Hashanah my 9 year old granddaughter Gabby says to me: Grandma let’s make Mrs. Fenster’s cake again.
From Barbara & Paul Goldstein
I remember how welcoming Ricky was when Paul and I first married. We’d meet at the kosher butcher and she’d greet me like a member of the family with a big smile and a hug. It made me feel welcomed and warm.
From Isabel Albom
We were a small group of Shelter Rockers who first met this tall dark haired slender woman who was introduced as Ricky (most of us never knew that her name was really Renee Corrine Walfish). Most of us took right away to her smile and her ease and decided that she was someone special. Her gentle manner made us all feel that she was a person we could go to with any problems that we might have. She taught us how to be a true wife when she was with her husband. We shall miss her smile and her voice when she sang the opening prayers and national anthem at our Sisterhood meetings. Ricky was a unique woman we will all remember. I especially, as Sisterhood President, helped welcome her.
From Ellen Shanies
My condolences to Rabbi Fenster and the Fenster family. It was a privilege to know Ricky. Stanley and I felt that Ricky’s warmth and kindness made us feel welcomed for over 40 years.
From Pepi & Stuart Stein
Forty two years ago our eldest daughter, Heather, started nursery school. She came home the first day telling us about her wonderful nursery school teacher, Ms. Ricky.
At first we didn’t know Ms. Ricky was our Shelter Rock Ricky but when we found out we weren’t surprised. Our Shelter Rock Ricky was the one who grabbed our hands to pull us into the hora circle at each Shelter Rock party and we knew she cared deeply about each one of us.
She lit up a room merely by walking into it. She made us smile by smiling at us. Her memory will always warm our hearts.
From Bobbi Brauer
Always with a smile, Ricky Fenster was the Grande Dame of Shelter Rock Jewish Center! She was one of the kindest, most caring people I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing. We first met in September of 1978, shortly after my son Jeremy was born, at the same time her son Jeremy’s first child was born. I saw balloons in front of her house, signaling the baby’s arrival! Not only did we both have first born sons named Jeremy, we both lived on Reed Drive. We continued to meet throughout the years, either in shul or outside of Waldbaums, where Ricky would always ask about my boys, and I about her beautiful growing family.
As many of us, I will miss her glowing smile and warm heart. Here’s to you, Rebbetzin Ricky!
From Joan & Danny Greenblatt and family
A crown of beauty, always with a warm smile, and a helping hand. Ricky asked me to assist a mature congregant (H) who received a delinquent real estate tax notice of sale. Due to a quirky change in the real estate tax law, H unknowingly missed an irregular payment. In the past, H never failed to make timely payments. H with her shrill, squeaky voice was adamant that she was current and refused my imploring her to pay the arrears or lose her house. Only after Ricky, with her usual grace, calmly and patiently explained to H the dire consequences of being intransigent did she sign the check. Ricky’s memory is a blessing to all.
From Debby Snider
The first time I met Ricky Fenster was on the dance floor at the Gold Plate Dinner as she led the Misirlou. I danced near her and could feel the warmth and joy that she radiated from the connection to a song of long ago; to the rhythm of the dance; and to all the people hand-in-hand around her. She was the catalyst that created the spark, the meaningful and joyful connection for all in the circle. My image of Ricky is of a glowing, graceful and gracious woman. With that twinkle in her eye, she welcomed me into the circle, a place that became my home. She will be deeply missed.
Laurie & Mark Yagerman family
Memories of Ricky are many. The obvious is her ubiquitous presence at shul events as well as our family life events. I can see her first to start a long hora. When Laurie and I lived in Albertson, I remember that she and Rabbi Fenster took walks in the neighborhood. She called out to Laurie to walk with them if they were on Miles Avenue.
She was the perfect foil to Rabbi Fenster. She was warm, kind, caring, intelligent and down to earth. Yet she had a regal stature and bearing. She held many roles, Rebbetzin, wife, mother, grandmother, great grandmother and friend. She earned our deep respect. Rest In Peace, Ricky.
From Eleanore Garfinkel
Having known Ricky for over fifty years, I would like to share some of my thoughts of this remarkable woman. Our family semachot were undoubtedly enhanced both by Ricky’s joyful singing and Rabbi Fenster’s enthusiastic leadership.
She added much joy to the congregation at large as well as to our family specifically. Her warmth and genuine concern for our well being will be both eternally remembered as well as sorely missed. My family would like to thank the entire Fenster family for allowing our lives to be so richly enhanced by Ricky’s presence.
From Liz & Jack Rosenthal
We deeply mourn the loss of our Rebetzen and longtime friend, Ricky Fenster. She was a remarkable person; beautiful inside and out. She radiated warmth and kindness. She was gracious, engaging, caring and loving. All these qualities made her an outstanding Rebetzen and an asset to the community. It was these very same qualities that made her an exceptional friend. We feel honored to have known her and we will miss her. May her memory always be a blessing.
From Phyllis & Mike Schafrank
The light has dimmed at the Fenster home. Its glow has simultaneously become suppressed at the Shelter Rock Jewish Center and the surrounding area for miles around. A great woman has passed away. For Ricky Fentster held us in our hearts as no other woman in our community. She was a beloved Rebbetzin to all who knew her. She was not only the Heart of Hearts to our Rabbi Fenster, she was the flickering flame that kept our family aglow. Her smile lit up not only her cherished husband. That smile allowed him to do his duty with zest. That smile was indescribable, a charm that was infectious, a love for all of us that stood unmatched. We love her husband and we loved her. She was a charmer, a beautiful woman and a caring human being. We will miss her caring ways. Her goodness was known to all.
Ricky raised a family of five with delicacy and projected a great charm and warmth. She left us without fanfare, her job in life delicately completed. Ricky we will miss you greatly. Farewell, Rest in Peace! We love you.
From Amy Kellman
My mother first met Ricky when they were both involved in the Queens Schechter P.T.A. We were practically neighbors with the Fensters, we being in Elmhurst and the Fensters in Jackson Heights. Almost twenty years later, my mother reached out to Ricky to inquire about houses for sale in walking distance to the Shelter Rock Jewish Center. Ricky put us in contact with a friend of a friend and we found our new home. Scott and I immediately joined the shul. Both Ricky and Rabbi have been a part of our lives - from the births of our children, nursery school teacher, Bar and Bat Mitzvahs, and their weddings. Our family will miss Ricky, her effervescence, her good neshama, her helpfulness and spirit.
From Julie & Jeff Shlefstein
Ricky was an amazing woman, a wonderful life partner and a true rebbetzin. We were always impressed where ever we would see here Ricky would always ask about our children and by each name and spend the time talking to us. She really cared about everyone. We were so touched after each conversation, we will miss her derly. May her memory be a blessing
From Barbara & Myron Bloom
MEMORIES OF RICKY
1. The perfect Rebbitzin.
2. Perpetual smile.
3. Warm.
4. Grandmother of the Year.
5. Beloved nursery school teacher.
6. Elegant.
7. Great dancer at Gold Plate Dinners.
8. Lemon and cloves on Yom Kippur.
9. Interested and interesting.
Ricky, we will miss you.
Ricky Fenster – our Ravishing Rebbetzin
from Linda Moss
It is my privilege to write a short memorial to our beloved Rebbetzin, Ricky Fenster. Steven and I arrived at Shelter Rock 48 years ago as twentysomethings and were enveloped and embraced by Rabbi and Ricky. We both came from formal congregations in Queens with thousands of families and contact between the Rabbi and Rebbetzin with us was limited and distant. Ricky made us feel welcome and with her special style gave us special attention and her brand of motherly love. Her smile and gentle nature were magic to us and we jumped into shul life wholeheartedly. We attended wonderful Shabbat dinners with lively singing and laughter and made so many memories with our children that we cherish to this day. It was at one of those dinners that the Rabbi coined a phrase about her that has lasted for years…Ricky Fenster our “Ravishing Rebbetzin”.
As the years passed and we matured and our children passed through the life cycle events, Ricky and Rabbi took on a new role with us as close friends. Their phenomenal family embraced us as well. We were in the loop with the gaggle of grandchildren that were born and then the even bigger expanse of great grandchildren. I marveled at Ricky’s ability to recall dozens of children’s names and birthdays.
Steven and I chaired dozens of Gold Plate dinners and special events over the years. We could always count on Ricky to be the Pied Piper of dancing at all happy events. She would glide across the floor leading us in the Misirlou with all of its combinations creating a sensation for all to see.
I spoke with Ricky to wish her happy birthday the day after her 94th birthday on December 11. She was happy and upbeat and elated to be with the family for lunch that day. I cherish that conversation and will keep is as a precious memory forever. I am blessed to have had Ricky in my life. Her style, her grace and her love of life are an example for us all to exemplify.
From Beth Blume
There was only ONE RICKY FENSTER and she was truly a GIFT to me and to all who were fortunate to know her.
Whenever Ricky spoke with me it was always on a warm and personal level and she was able to recall every conversation we had ever had.
Ricky was a kind, caring, loving, intelligent, and beautiful; she will always be remembered for her grace and pure decency.
Right now she’s in heaven and even though we lost her physical presence, she will always be remembered and LOVED.
My condolences to the Fenster and extended family and know how blessed you were to have had Ricky in your daily lives.
From Joy Perla
Shelter Rock Jewish Center was truly blessed to have Ricky Fenster as their rebbetzin for so long a time. It is where I became an "adult Jew" here at Shelter Rock, when I studied with the first adult bat mitzvah class, and became a bat mitzvah with several dozen other women.
Whenever I came to synagogue, be it Shabbat or holiday, Ricky usually sat in front of our family and ALWAYS greeted each of us with her smile. It was like sunshine no matter what the weather. She asked how we were, and later, when my kids grew up, asked what they were doing and where they were. She was the Gold Standard and I will miss her.
From Susan Pavane
A warm greeting goes a long way. Whether in synagogue on Shabbat, in Roslyn Kosher on Thursdays, or seeing each other in the neighborhood, a sincere, warm, greeting from Ricky lit up the moment. With elegance and a beautiful smile she always made me feel our personal connection. I still think of Ricky each time I walk into Roslyn Kosher, and as with so many others, I will miss her.
From Susan & Larry Feldman
One great memory of many of Rabbi and Ricky.
In 1990 our youngest son, Kevin, was becoming a Bar Mitzvah in Israel in March. We are fairly new to the Shelter Rock and Kevin was a HANC student so the Rabbi did not really know him. We received a call from Temmy, to inform us that the Rabbi would be on sabbatical and would like to join us for the ceremony at the Kotel. The day of the Bar Mitzvah, the Torah was being brought out. We look up and there was Rabbi Fenster. I was in the women’s section and turned around and there was Ricky with the widest smile. Right then we knew Rabbi and Ricky were part of our family too. We celebrated with a small Kiddush at the Hotel with our son, Adam, my Mom, Dad, Sister, niece, and Rabbi and Ricky.
We will miss her dearly, but Ricky will always be in our hearts.
Roberta & Alan Maskell
There are many words that can be used to describe a person as special as Ricky Fenster. Some that come to mind are classy, elegant, beautiful, caring, gracious, and unique. She was definitely one of a kind. Living so close to the Fensters, we had many occasions to stop and chat with them as they sat on their front stoop. During these chats the topics
would vary but most of the time it focused on their family. We would get an update on the latest birth of a great grandchild or the latest marriage in the family. Ricky will be deeply missed by her family, friends, and the Shelter Rock community.
From Robin & Howard Guzik
We fondly and lovingly remember Ricky and we are thankful to have known her and to have personally seen her inner and outer beauty. She always had a magnificent smile which lit up the room and she was welcoming and truly cared about others. Each time we saw Ricky she asked about our sons and then about their growing families. As others have said, Ricky was always the first on the dance floor, and always encouraged others to join her there. We can picture her leading a chain of people through the tables in the sukkah, spreading joy and happiness to all.
Another special memory of Ricky is her support of Yad L'Kashish, which is an organization Robin first visited in Jerusalem when she was 16 years old. It is an organization which cares for the elderly in a respectful and supportive environment, providing them with skills to create beautiful and artistic creations and helping them to feel that they are a meaningful part of society. This has always been an organization dear to our hearts, and we were so impressed with all that Ricky did to bring their creations to our community and to educate others about the importance of contributing to the organization.
We feel blessed to have had Ricky in our lives, and we send our deepest condolences to Rabbi Fenster, their children, and the entire family.
From Rina Shamoun
Ricky was a true lady. Always greeted everyone with a smile, to the last time she came to shul in November 2021.
Never missed asking about my children and grandchildren. She stayed out of shul politics. Most notable was her beautiful soprano voice. I enjoyed listening and singing with her in the choir. She will be missed.
From Riki & Rabbi Jeremy Wiederhorn
As much as we learned over the years from Rabbi Fenster, our time with the “Ravishing Rebbetzin,” was just as meaningful and impactful. We will always remember Ricky sitting in the second row closest to the rabbi’s podium, looking up at her husband with a genuine and unwavering smile. How many rebbetzins, let alone wives, look at their husbands every week with such true and glowing affection?
Each year on Sukkot, Ricky invited the synagogue staff to the Fenster home for a festive lunch. This was her quiet way of saying thank you to those who worked so hard on behalf of the shul. Riki has continued that tradition in our congregations in Henderson and Westport over the years, in tribute to Ricky.
We also remember Ricky baking and freezing hamentashen for the weeks leading up to Purim so that she would be fully prepared to send out mishloach manot. We worked together with the Fensters in this effort and have carried on the tradition of doing mishloach manot together with our fellow clergy, again following the example that Ricky established.
While it’s been more than 20 years since we left Shelter Rock, our memories and connections with the community have remained strong, and we have Ricky and Rabbi Fenster to thank for so graciously welcoming us into their home and their family. May Ricky’s memory forever be a source of joy, song, spirit, and strength to Rabbi Fenster, the Fenster family, and the entire Shelter Rock community.
From Ruth & Gary Zelman
Our dear Rebbetzin Ricky Fenster zl influenced so many aspect of our lives, both in measured ways and in subtle ways. When Gary and I got engaged, we went to meet with Rabbi Fenster and Ricky. We talked about the wedding, and we also spoke about the home we hoped to build together. Ricky spoke about keeping a kosher home and all that was involved. She gave me a book, that I still have today. Although Gary grew up in a kosher home, I did not, so for me it was new. I will always be grateful to her for being so encouraging and supportive. When I decided to teach at SRJC Early Childhood Center, Ricky was equally supportive and excited and gave me her notes and curriculum from her days of being a teacher at Beth Shalom. And then there were the subtle ways in which she taught us. I can just see her bright smile as she listened and watched Rabbi Fenster give a sermon from the bimah. You could tell by the look on her face how incredibly proud she was of him- she showed us by example what it meant to be a loving and caring partner and spouse. She taught us all how to celebrate together as a community, from decorating the sukkah to being the first one on the dance floor at a simchah. She was giving, caring, and kind. Through her support of Yad LaKashish she taught us how important it is to support a worthy cause, be it here or in Israel. She was humble, smart, and elegant, and never had an unkind word to say about or to anyone. She had countless families and people to care about and she made each of us feel special. Gary and I feel so honored to have called her our Rebbetzin, our teacher and our friend, and she will always be in our hearts.
From Rebecca Ravski & Rabbi Mitchell Berkowitz
Walking into a new community is always an anxious moment—and especially so when you are the new rabbinic intern (and his future wife) offered the privilege of serving a congregation like Shelter Rock Jewish Center. During the years that we lived on Old Searingtown Road, Ricky was always supportive, complimentary, and kind. I am not sure what Ricky looked like when she wasn’t smiling—always with a warm smile and a calming presence. May her memory be for a blessing.